I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Randomize