Whod you bang
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
