I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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