So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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