i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
