Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
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