Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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