Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
