One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
