508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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