How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
