I hate your face
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
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