Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
