If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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