i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
