Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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