This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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