did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
