South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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