You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
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He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
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my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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