id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
