i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
