ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
