YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
