I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Randomize
