My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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