Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
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