If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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