If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Randomize