my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Farmville is her only friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize