it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
