PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Randomize
