We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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