Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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