We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
