So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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