I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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