Screwed.edu
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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