just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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