Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
