The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
