she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I need to calm my uterus...
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
