i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
