It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
