For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
