Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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