Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
