My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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