I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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