Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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