Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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