I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
whose parrot is this?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
