I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
