apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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