So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
