I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
