i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
