Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
